A heavy midnight mug,
your mug, Mom, now mine, warms
my hands hugging its smooth
surface, the spicy, sweetness
of licorice tea wafting
the air, reaching at memories
of you. I hold it close
under my nose, breathe deeply
to invite your company:
At the stove where a tea kettle still steams,
you stand in a kitchen, cramped but colorful,
your silly grin, with lips pulled back
and top teeth exposed, hovers just above
your own fragrant and full mug of tea, affection
brimming your gray eyes, your laugh
trickles out before swallowing
the heated liquid to start the day.
Warmed by your visit,
I drink you in, savoring you
in small sips to prolong your stay,
wanting the memories to flow,
this cup of tea to keep brewing,
yet even when the last drop spills
onto my tongue, I hold the mug close,
try to inhale what is left of the
aroma that carried you to me,
still thirsting for another visit.
* I would love feedback, what you really like or what you think might make it better, on this poem. It is still in a pretty raw form--I don't feel like I'm done with it. Also, I can't decide what tense is more powerful or allows the reader to connect--speaking directly to my mom or talking about her--or which title is better.
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3 comments:
I really like it! The first part especially. I don't like the description of the the smile though. "lips pulled back and top teeth exposed". It made me think of a dog snarling. I would just tinker with that imagery. I really liked the rest. It made me want to have a signature drink to enjoy with Gwen so she could have a memory of me like this.
Speaking to your Mom in present tense is just right. Nice work! Thanks. Is there any chance that you would consider a different title? Perhaps leave out the word "tea" altogether. Is there a title that would initially puzzle the reader--beckoning him to explore?
Thanks for the feedback! And you are right, Ellie, that really doesn't describe her facial expression anyway, so I do need to fix that; I am laughing now at the thought of my mother with her tea snarling at me like a dog though, so thanks for that imagery. ;) I will have to think more about a different possibility for the title.
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