It was a great day for Reginald T Mawthinsawl. Breakfast at the new diner was superb, perhaps even life affirming. What was even in those eggs? Lobster? Perhaps a smattering of paprika? Fantastic. A perfect start to a perfect day. The years he spent replicating dinosaur DNA and combining it with that of the majestic Rhode Island Red were finally worth it. Of course there were naysayers; an onslaught of simpletons who couldn't see the reality of his genius. "It can't be done!" They said. "You're mad!" They said. "You're an accountant, how did you even get access to frozen utahraptor sperm?" Fools, the lot of them.
The look on Cheryl and Jerry's normally smug faces brought new feelings of warmth into Reginald's heart. Their decaying minds must have been shocked to realize how wrong they had been all those years. Cheryl was especially agog. He recalled, with fondness now, how she had laughed when he had asked her to be his date at his cousins wedding.
"AM I A JOKE NOW, CHERYL?" Reginald bellowed as Cheryl screamed, running from a six foot tall rooster who had been trained to chase anything with blonde hair since it was first hatched in a vat of beautifully preserved but ancient stem cells.
It was no small task to euthanize a 150 lb bird. He wondered if he was too closely bonded to the creature to even make the attempt. But after the lengthy seminar he attended on taxidermy, he knew what he had to do. It took Reginald 3 hours. "A new record" whispered his taxidermy instructor as he watched Reginald slip into his majestic new outfit made of genuine giant chicken. He asked Reginald where he plans to bring his new costume.
Reginald laughed heartily, locked the old taxidermist in the closet, and headed outside towards the photography studio. As his feathers glistened in the sun and the man's muffled screams faded into the distance, he remarked to himself that it was like wearing a second skin. He chuckled, "Of course! That's exactly what it is, old boy!"
That night, for the first time in his life, he slept soundly. Nothing was going to bother Reginald Mawthinsawl ever again.
2 comments:
This is such a fun story. So creative. I could not come up with anything to go with this picture. I would suggest that you change the paragraph that begins, "The look on Cheryl and Jerry's normally smug faces brought new feelings of warmth into Reginald's heart." Perhaps tell a little more about Cheryl and Jerry. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Seriously, my favorite bit was "What's in these eggs? Lobster?!" I don't know why, but that really got my funny bone.
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